To have a happy relationship with a person you love above all else is one of the most precious gifts you can wish for in life. But it is not always possible to maintain a partnership that is fulfilling for both sides. Then the question arises: To go or to stay? Those who decide to end the relationship often no longer have the strength or courage to fight for love or see no possibility to bring about an improvement in the situation. The wall of mutual incomprehension and frequent arguments seems too insurmountable. On the other hand, those who, despite dissatisfaction, remain in a partnership and do nothing to ensure that the once loving togetherness will once again dominate the common everyday life, will suffer silently and waste precious time. Before it comes to that, each couple should therefore define for themselves what is especially important to them in their partnership and what expectations they have of the relationship. But even if both agree on most points or have found seemingly satisfactory compromises, troublemakers in the form of misunderstandings or unfulfilled longings can still come between the lovers and mutate into real relationship killers.
You are happy together and you want this to last for a long time? Then take a moment to look at our 3 relationship killers and learn how to make them harmless.
1. you do not talk about your love life
Many people find it difficult to talk about their own sexual preferences and fantasies. Depending on your upbringing and your experiences in previous relationships, you may find it inappropriate to talk about what you like and don’t like in bed. In addition, you may be afraid of overburdening or even scaring your partner with your wishes, or you may be worried about hurting him or her if you tell him or her what you do not like. The problem is that unfulfilled wishes and desires can become a relationship killer, because they lead to long-term dissatisfaction. In the worst case, you might find what you think you are missing in a strange bed. Be aware that it is perfectly ok if you prefer certain positions or games and do not feel comfortable with others. In order for both of you to get your money’s worth, it is important to know what the other person wants. If you have avoided talking openly about your needs, then you should definitely start. Unfortunately, it does not always work to simply rely on the other person’s apparent reactions. You do not have to fall into bed with the proverbial door. Just start by asking yourself questions playfully while you are in the mood. You will see: The more you talk about your love life, the more natural it will seem to you to talk about and try out things that previously only had a place in your fantasies.
2. you take each other for granted
She takes care of the laundry, he drags the heavy water boxes home. In the course of your relationship you have divided your tasks and obligations among yourselves. This makes it obvious who is responsible for what, and you don’t even think of thanking the other person for his favors. That one partner brings the other his coffee to bed on Sundays or waits for the other with a delicious meal when the evening comes late again – all normal and not worthy of thanks? If you both feel that way, then you’re sure to fall into one of the most dangerous relationship killer traps of all. Because that you are there for each other, that your love has already survived so many things and that you willingly support each other is by no means self-evident. If you do not manage to whisper a sincere thank you in each other’s ear every now and then, for all that you do for each other, and you completely lose the feeling of gratitude for being allowed to share your life with such a wonderful person, your partner will eventually feel unseen and meaningless at your side. So open your eyes and be happy that you have each other – and most importantly, show each other how happy you are.
3. you are not having fun together
Yeah, life’s pretty serious sometimes. That’s why your relationship doesn’t have to be dry as a bone. Laughing and having fun together will weld you together as a couple and increase the quality of your relationship. If, on the other hand, you only talk about supposedly important issues, such as the stress at work, bringing up the children or piling up bills, you form a unit – but one that consists only of overcoming problems together. A relationship killer that should not be underestimated if it is not eliminated by shared moments of joy and relaxation. Therefore, make sure that you experience many beautiful moments with each other, which should only serve to have fun. Go dancing, meet mutual friends, go on a spontaneous trip or a short vacation – and banish the underlying feeling that this is all just a waste of time. Because it is a valuable investment in a long and happy partnership.
Did you notice while reading that one of the 3 relationship killers has already sneaked into your partnership and threatens to cause quite a lot of damage there? Then you have already taken the first step to make him harmless. Because with the awareness that something is going wrong, you can succeed in bringing harmony and happiness back into your relationship. You just have to be both willing to name your problems openly and to fight them together. We wish you much success in doing so. And for all those whose partnership has fortunately not yet met one of these nasty relationship killers: Be alert at all times, because they usually sneak into your relationship completely unnoticed and only start to cause serious problems after a while.